Well friends, all goood things must come to an end. There have been some amazing highs (Bubna in 6th place) and amazing lows (Bubna leading for the bulk of the playoffs), but it hasn't failed to be interesting. In honor of this first season of playoff basketball, we'll throw out a little bit more information than normal.
But first, the final standings....
1. Kyle--50 pts
2. Noah S.--39 pts
3. Fitz--37 pts
4. Brian--33 pts
5. Len--32 pts
6. Bubna--30 pts
7. Jake S.--18 pts
8. Jake V.--17 pts
Top performers by category:
Free Throws--Kyle (350)
3 Pointers--Noah (87)
Rebounds--Kyle (609)
Assists--Bubna (287)
Steals--Noah (96)
Blocks--Kyle (73)
Points--Kyle (1407)
Top individual performers by category:
Free Throws--Kobe Bryant (174)
3 Pointers--Rashard Lewis (47)
Rebounds--Dwight Howard (311)
Assists--Rajon Rondo (131)
Steals--Kobe Bryant (38)
Blocks--Dwight Howard (52)
Points--Kobe Bryant (695)
Performance Everyone Expected: Kobe Bryant
Performance Nobody but Noah S. Expected: Trevor Ariza
Craziest Stat-Stuffing Performance--Rajon Rondo (almost AVERAGED a triple-double in Round 1, was 6 steals away from winning the category even though he played two less rounds than the winner, etc, etc)
Most Disappointing Showing: Chris Paul and the Invisibles
Oldest Showing: Detroit Pistons
Luckiest Pick: Noah with Trevor Ariza in the 5th Round
2nd Luckiest Pick: Len with Carmelo Anthony in the 2nd Round (after picking Big Z first!)
Ugliest Stinkface: Hedo Turkoglu
Person Least Likely to Contribute: Andrew Bynum (9 assists in the whole playoffs! 9.)
Any other nominations?
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
A little less conversation, a little more action.
All this aggravatin' aint' satisfactionin' me.
A quick note to our Google Doc savvy-friend who sorted things--we'll call him Noah S.--no, N. Shaddis--if you're going to sort things, please don't save the document that way--just back out or close the window. Your friendly neighborhood statsman just about had a heart attack when he opened the stat sheet today, but thanks to Google, we were able to fix things just fine.
Here are the most updated standings after last night's missed-free throw-fest for Orlando:
1. Kyle--47 pts
2. Noah--38 pts
3. Fitz--37 pts
4. Len--33 pts
5. Brian--32 pts
6. Bubna--31 pts
7. Jake V.--18 pts
8. Jake S.--16 pts
A quick note to our Google Doc savvy-friend who sorted things--we'll call him Noah S.--no, N. Shaddis--if you're going to sort things, please don't save the document that way--just back out or close the window. Your friendly neighborhood statsman just about had a heart attack when he opened the stat sheet today, but thanks to Google, we were able to fix things just fine.
Here are the most updated standings after last night's missed-free throw-fest for Orlando:
1. Kyle--47 pts
2. Noah--38 pts
3. Fitz--37 pts
4. Len--33 pts
5. Brian--32 pts
6. Bubna--31 pts
7. Jake V.--18 pts
8. Jake S.--16 pts
Monday, June 1, 2009
Dark was the April night...
...that Kyle Magstadt sat in his salmon Aveo at the intersection of White Bear and Conway, waiting, hoping, for a glimpse of the man who could change his fortunes forever. He had heard of similar deals being made for Robert Johnson and Jimmy Page, but he could never dream of what was to come for him.
At first, the man appeared only as a wisp, a vision, a shell of the sinister figure most have come to associate with the Devil. His horns were concealed under a fedora, his tail tucked inside the Hornets Starter jacket and matching Zubaz he had found at Valu-Thrift just down the road. He walked with purposeful, effortless strides, the walk of a man who sees a payday just down the road.
The stranger opened the passenger door and got in.
"Word on the sssssssssssstreet issssss that you're looking for help with a fantassssssssy bassssssssketball playoff league."
Kyle gulped, but nodded silently.
"We have to make it look like I don't know what I'm doing at first--have me draft 3 players from the same team, including one guy whose best years are about 5 years behind him."
The devil's eyes flickered with delight.
"Who else will you draft?"
"The only healthy member of an aging championship team, one that will probably make it to a later round of the playoffs, but I'm stuck on the last guy.."
"Well, I'm no expert, but I did help a guy to screw over the blind owner of his previous team for more money--he owes me a favor..."
"You mean Boozer?"
"That's the one!"
"Well, he's kind of a jerk, but if you insist.."
"I do. So how else can I assssisssst you?"
"Well, in order for this plan to work, the Orlando Magic need to make the Finals."
The devil shrieked in pain. "The MAGIC! Nonononono. They've got....Him on their side. I can't do that. That'd go against everything I stand for. Besides, haven't you listened to 'The Champion' before? I'm more of a boxing fan."
"I realize that, but I'll make it worth your while. Not only do you get my soul, but I'll cut my all my hair off, and I won't donate it to anybody! I'll even drive with the A/C on and the windows down in the summertime, just to contribute to global warming. Finally, I'll continue to defy all rules about sports fandom by supporting the University of Arizona basketball team, under some ridiculous reasoning that I was born there, ignoring the fact that we left AZ well before what most denominations consider the age of accountability, and have spent the majority of my life either attending other colleges or living in other states. I'll also follow the Utah Jazz for no reason at all, except for I'm a front-runner."
"Perfect! That's just the kind of dedication I'm looking for!"
The paperwork was signed, the hands shaken, and the mysterious stranger exited the car.
"Where are you headed next?" Kyle asked, as he began to drive away.
"I've got an appointment with Dr. James Andrews in Alabama--one of my most devious potential cases yet--this football player wants to keep playing, but he needs shoulder surgery, and it's just perfect--he could end up playing against the team that made him famous, while simultaneously wrecking his team and all who follow it..pretty much perfect, really..."
Standings:
1. Kyle--42 points
2. Bubna--37 points
3. Len--36 points
4. Brian--35 points
5. Fitz--33 points
6. Noah--32 points
7. Jake V.--23 points
8. Jake S. 18 points
At first, the man appeared only as a wisp, a vision, a shell of the sinister figure most have come to associate with the Devil. His horns were concealed under a fedora, his tail tucked inside the Hornets Starter jacket and matching Zubaz he had found at Valu-Thrift just down the road. He walked with purposeful, effortless strides, the walk of a man who sees a payday just down the road.
The stranger opened the passenger door and got in.
"Word on the sssssssssssstreet issssss that you're looking for help with a fantassssssssy bassssssssketball playoff league."
Kyle gulped, but nodded silently.
"We have to make it look like I don't know what I'm doing at first--have me draft 3 players from the same team, including one guy whose best years are about 5 years behind him."
The devil's eyes flickered with delight.
"Who else will you draft?"
"The only healthy member of an aging championship team, one that will probably make it to a later round of the playoffs, but I'm stuck on the last guy.."
"Well, I'm no expert, but I did help a guy to screw over the blind owner of his previous team for more money--he owes me a favor..."
"You mean Boozer?"
"That's the one!"
"Well, he's kind of a jerk, but if you insist.."
"I do. So how else can I assssisssst you?"
"Well, in order for this plan to work, the Orlando Magic need to make the Finals."
The devil shrieked in pain. "The MAGIC! Nonononono. They've got....Him on their side. I can't do that. That'd go against everything I stand for. Besides, haven't you listened to 'The Champion' before? I'm more of a boxing fan."
"I realize that, but I'll make it worth your while. Not only do you get my soul, but I'll cut my all my hair off, and I won't donate it to anybody! I'll even drive with the A/C on and the windows down in the summertime, just to contribute to global warming. Finally, I'll continue to defy all rules about sports fandom by supporting the University of Arizona basketball team, under some ridiculous reasoning that I was born there, ignoring the fact that we left AZ well before what most denominations consider the age of accountability, and have spent the majority of my life either attending other colleges or living in other states. I'll also follow the Utah Jazz for no reason at all, except for I'm a front-runner."
"Perfect! That's just the kind of dedication I'm looking for!"
The paperwork was signed, the hands shaken, and the mysterious stranger exited the car.
"Where are you headed next?" Kyle asked, as he began to drive away.
"I've got an appointment with Dr. James Andrews in Alabama--one of my most devious potential cases yet--this football player wants to keep playing, but he needs shoulder surgery, and it's just perfect--he could end up playing against the team that made him famous, while simultaneously wrecking his team and all who follow it..pretty much perfect, really..."
Standings:
1. Kyle--42 points
2. Bubna--37 points
3. Len--36 points
4. Brian--35 points
5. Fitz--33 points
6. Noah--32 points
7. Jake V.--23 points
8. Jake S. 18 points
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Showing No Regard for Human Life!!!
It's been so long since we've had anything resembling T-Wolves highlight (David Kahn? Really?), I had to remember the glory days, when KG didn't have diamonds the size of Rhode Island on either ear, and Kevin Harlan was happy calling our games on TV. Kevin Harlan made Trent Tucker look like Magic Johnson sippin' on purple stuff...
Today's standings update:
1. Brian--40 pts
2. Bubna--39 pts
3. Fitz--38 pts
4. Kyle--34 pts
5. (tie) Noah/Len--31 pts
7. Jake V.--24 pts
8. Jake S.--17 pts
Today's standings update:
1. Brian--40 pts
2. Bubna--39 pts
3. Fitz--38 pts
4. Kyle--34 pts
5. (tie) Noah/Len--31 pts
7. Jake V.--24 pts
8. Jake S.--17 pts
Monday, May 25, 2009
3 Games in....
And nothing has gone like it should have!
Apparently Kyle's impending graduation has influenced D-Howard and the rest of the Magic to play like their eternal souls depend on it!
As previous posts can indicate, this was unexpected, to say the least...
Here are the updated standings after Sunday's games:
1. Brian--44 pts
2. Fitz--40 pts
3. Bubna--38 pts
4. Kyle--32 pts
5. Noah--31 pts
6. Jake V.--28 pts
7. Len--27 pts
8. Jake S. 16 pts
Apparently Kyle's impending graduation has influenced D-Howard and the rest of the Magic to play like their eternal souls depend on it!
As previous posts can indicate, this was unexpected, to say the least...
Here are the updated standings after Sunday's games:
1. Brian--44 pts
2. Fitz--40 pts
3. Bubna--38 pts
4. Kyle--32 pts
5. Noah--31 pts
6. Jake V.--28 pts
7. Len--27 pts
8. Jake S. 16 pts
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
The more I think about it...
The more I know it's true that Chauncey Billups never ages!
I guess when you look like Sam Cassell/Gollum, you don't age quite as quickly.
Anyway, here's the standings after last night's thriller:
1. Brian--47
2. Fitz--42
3. Bubna--38
4. Jake V.--32
5. Noah--30
6. Kyle--28
7. Len--21
8. Jake S.--16
I guess when you look like Sam Cassell/Gollum, you don't age quite as quickly.
Anyway, here's the standings after last night's thriller:
1. Brian--47
2. Fitz--42
3. Bubna--38
4. Jake V.--32
5. Noah--30
6. Kyle--28
7. Len--21
8. Jake S.--16
Monday, May 18, 2009
The Impossible Dream
I don't know how they did it, but Kyle's Orlando Magic beat down the rotting corpse that was the Celtics, and gave his playoff hopes some life!
Too bad they'll get their a**es handed to them by the unstoppable force that is LeBron and his Pips...maybe they can stretch it to 5 games.
Anywho, your up-to-date standings (complete with corrections--thanks Bryan!)
1. Bryan--48 pts.
2. Fitz--41 pts.
3. Bubna--39 pts.
4. (tie) Kyle/Jake V. --31 pts.
6. Noah--29 pts.
7. Len--19 pts.
8. Jake S.--16 pts.
Too bad they'll get their a**es handed to them by the unstoppable force that is LeBron and his Pips...maybe they can stretch it to 5 games.
Anywho, your up-to-date standings (complete with corrections--thanks Bryan!)
1. Bryan--48 pts.
2. Fitz--41 pts.
3. Bubna--39 pts.
4. (tie) Kyle/Jake V. --31 pts.
6. Noah--29 pts.
7. Len--19 pts.
8. Jake S.--16 pts.
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